Sunday, April 12, 2009

Need To Make A Decision… Part III

To my reader Yoshi: Thanks for all your input. Appreciate your feedback. I really do. Thanks once more.

What you say do make sense… don’t just evaluate the suitability of the position for me, but also evaluate the suitability of me to the position.

I guess I’ve been having this dilemma for quite some time because:

  1. I’m pretty sure I won’t ‘enjoy’ the process / nature of the job whole-heartedly which of course, will eventually affect the productivity of my work.
  2. When I don’t enjoy, or derive satisfaction from the things I do, I am sure I’ll suffer not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally. I’ll get even more dramatic. I am almost sure I’ll complaint non-stop, if not to someone, will be to my blog, or argue all by myself in my ‘little weirdo mind’. I’m just like that. Arrgh, memang cari pasal ni.
  3. And eventually, I will subconsciously, put it out on others which is of course something I don’t want to do / am avoiding.
  4. I need to be really hands-on.
  5. So in conclusion, I think I am not suitable for the position and vice versa. At least not now, not yet :(
  6. I do not want to be in a ‘useless’ position. That’s the lowest I can feel in any place and time.
  7. Final decision: I am declining the job offer.

This might be one of the bigger leap I have to take in life, turning  down a present offer, saying NO, and though it might be career-changing, I guess I just got to learn to how to rise again if I really fall this time around.

Wish me luck, peeps!


p/s: I feel like I’m in some quarter life crisis though technically, I’m only supposed to feel so next year…